Living with depression is tough, but feeling like I accomplished something each day helps me get through. Today I cleaned and organized my very cluttered mudroom. It felt good to get rid of the mess and to know what is there and where things are again! I wish I could clean up and re-organize my life as easily! They say when you fall off a horse you should get right back on and ride. No-one gives you any direction on what to do when the horse runs off without you! The challenge for me right now is to figure out where I am going and how I am going to get there now that the horse has run away!
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Damn Horse!!!!
Now, I think you are making great strides towards that horse. While she may have run away without you, you are attempting to lure her back. I've seen you placing the carrots on the ground, and I've seen her take a nibble. Maybe we just need to figure out how to change the carrots into apples?
I understand that you are going through a lot right now. I don't know how to really help you. I attempt in my own ways, and I hope it helps to lighten your mood. I'm sorry that everything has turned out this way, and I'm sorry that I was (and still am) part of the problem. Just know that I am always here for you. I love you to the moon and back (to steal a quote from a children's book!). You are the most amazing mother I could ever ask for. Look at what you have done for me, my sisters, and even yourself.
I have never been as proud of you as I have been since you took the initiative to go back to school. You make me remember every day, that if my MOTHER can go back to school and SUCCEED, then there is no reason that I can't make it though this program. You have given me everything I need, and everything I want. you gave me love, compassion, caring, and a friend. I cherish every memory, moment, and milestone we have together.
Thank you for being there for me and loving me. Now, let's go pick some apples.
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